InSTEAD of Boundaries, I Built Walls
I am an empath, and empaths can have a hard time of it because we feel a lot. I would go so far as to say most of us have a history of feeling way too much, and it makes it very hard to be free and clear in the world. We feel other people’s pain, we feel stress from a group or situation, we feel tired because people drain our energy if we don’t know how to manage that–if we allow that. Because we feel so much, we masterfully create lots of other ways to be in the world that we think are protecting us.
I have had a long healing journey as an empath. I found energy medicine because I always felt anxious, and I wanted a way out that was not Xanax. I learned to meditate and do yoga, but no amount of practice could keep me from feeling anxious day to day. So my feelings and anxiety led me to keep seeking, and one of the best tools I found was Reiki. But even that was a road of learning where I seemed to have tremendous inconsistencies that kept dragging me down because of the deeper issues that had built up.
But I did it, because I am a seeker, and I kept on my quest for the answers. What I was looking for was actually my Truth, but I didn’t know that at the time. In the process, I began to unravel. Many years of my life were spent unraveling myself from things I had been told, ways I was raised, beliefs I had taken on from other people or establishments, etc. And in that unravelling I have picked up a marvelous collection of beautiful truths and wisdom. I liken it to the amazing quest for sea glass on a New England shoreline. You know how it is when you’re seeking that treasure, and then you find a piece of sea glass? And then another? And then you wait for some more waves that bring a bit more clearing, and you find another? It’s been like that.
So one of the realizations along my way has been to see the depth and severity of one of my best coping mechanisms. I didn’t even really know it was there, but it was blocking the openness of my sacred heart in a profound way. I had built very intensive walls. Only they didn’t block other people’s vampiric energy, which was part of my intention. They only blocked the Divine. They blocked love. They blocked my ability to know myself, feel, receive…to allow IN Divine Love. I had blocked that which I so deeply craved. And I was really good at that.
One thing about empaths is that we are very good at creating what I call ‘work-arounds’ in life. Instead of hitting something straight on and dealing with it, I was very good at walking away, and thinking I was being helpful in doing so. But it turns out that ‘turn the other cheek’ does not mean walk away and ignore the problem. That is why so many of us end up in co-dependent or narcissistic relationships. I may have been helping the other person in a situation, but was I helping myself, at all? Each time we walk away, or cover our mouths, or hold our tongues, or look away, we deny ourselves most of all. And that is the behavior with which I built my wall, stone by ancient stone. I don’t blame myself, and there are deep soul reasons for all of this, but brothers and sisters, I had to heal.
I believe we are the creators (and creatrixes) of a paradigm shift for ourselves. Women are learning to stand on our own in our own holy truth. This is a process, and it takes time, work, a ton of compassion, and being open in order to evolve ourselves consciously. But that’s what we’re doing. And when we do speak up, when we do say yes to seeing clearly, when we do take care of ourselves and fuel that holy inner fire, when we do leave relationships that actually harm us, then magical things DO happen. I witness it daily with people I work with professionally, and for myself and my kids.
I believe we are called to this work, some of us, so that we can be free. Or rather so that we can remember that we are already free, and in our innate freedom, we have the power to say yes to ourselves, and then yes to creating the healthy boundaries that serve us and the highest good of all. We need this in order to stay clear.
You are the Queen, the Empress, the Emperor of your sacred domain. But you’re not here to live behind walls. You’re here to shine your glorious light.
If this resonates with you, if you know that on any level you have created a wall that no longer serves you, are you willing to say yes to allowing that to crumble once and for all? What courage will it take? What commitment? Are you ready? I believe you came here to know you are already free.
Seeking healing to shed the old ways, walls & chains that have been holding you back, and step into the life you most deeply desire? Do reach out to discuss my soul healing and mentoring program and we’ll see if you’re a good fit! Namaste, beautiful soul.